Slot Machines Funny Meme

Posted onby admin
  • Slot Machines are everywhere and we have compiled a list of our favorite top slot machine names just for you! Free Slots, Funny Slots, Best Slots, Worst Slots, 3d Slots, Slotomania Slots is taking over our gaming nation and this is post is a tribute to the best and coolest slot machine names and titles we have found.
  • Jul 8, 2019 - Explore Lori Barkdull's board 'Casino Memes', followed by 133 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about memes, casino, humor.

Check out our collection of funny gambling jokes. We are sure they will make you laugh. If you have any gambling jokes as good, upload them at the bottom of this page.

15 Hilarious Sloth Memes To Brighten Your Day These sloth memes are almost as good as these Sloth GIFs, but the gifs let you see how slowly these lathargical creatures move, so it wins. Posted by taloringer. Best Jokes About Slot Machines Of all casino games, slot machines are the most popular, as its following can only be rivaled by perhaps poker. It doesn’t matter whether you’re playing at your local casino, whether you’ve gone on a gambling vacation to Las Vegas or Atlantic City, or, perhaps, you’re testing your luck on some of the best.

1) I just bet £100 at the bookies that they would find Maddie, at 1000-1 odds. That way, if they ever do find her, I’ll be able to afford a fucking good lawyer.
Check out Really Funny Lawyer Jokes

2) Chuck-E-Cheese, because it’s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling.

3) My wife has left me because I am a compulsive gambler. I’d do anything to win her back.

4) Poker is like sex – everyone thinks they’re the best, but most people don’t have a clue what they’re doing. Dutch Boyd
Check out Really Funny Sex Jokes

5) What’s the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it.

6) A blond girl playing freeroll was taking her time and playing very slow. The timer was started and she still could not take a decision how to play the hand. Her friend asked her with surprise, “What is going on? Why aren’t you playing?” The blond girl replied, “I am playing! I am just slow-playing aces!”
Check out some of the funniest Dumb Blonde Jokes ever

7) Why didn’t the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs.

8) They say one in every seven friends have a gambling addiction. My money’s on Dave.
Check out Really Funny Money Jokes

Machines

9) What did the giraffe say to the tiger at the poker table? I thought you were a cheetah.

10) What’s the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years, the dog quits whining.
Check out Really Funny Animal Jokes

11) Whats the difference between online poker and live poker? You can cry after a bad beat online and no one will laugh at you.

Share these gambling jokes with your friends

12) Sign you might have a poker addiction: your kids are named check and raise.

Slot Machines Funny Meme

13) I put a thousand pounds on a horse. The fucking thing collapsed.
Check out some of the best Horse Jokes ever published

14) Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.

15) “I am looking for the book named ‘How to win easily and fast with poker.'” “Please check at the fantastic literature counter.”

16. Husband Comes Home After Gambling

Meme

I came home from the pub four hours late last night.

“Where the fuck have you been?” screamed my wife.

Funny slot machine

I said, “I’ve been playing poker with some blokes.”

“Playing poker with some blokes?” she repeated. “Well, you can pack your bags and go!”

“So can you,” I said. “This isn’t our house anymore.”

17. Professional Gambler Screws Everyone In The Bar

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, “Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks.”

The bartender said, “That’s fine, but we’re in the middle of the Depression, so I’ll need to see some money first.”

The guy pulled out a huge wad of notes and set them on the bar. The bartender can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Where did you get all that money?” asked the bartender.

“I’m a professional gambler,” replied the man.

The bartender said, “There’s no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?”

“Well, I only bet on sure things,” said the guy.

“Like what?” asked the bartender.

Funny Slot Machine Quotes

“Well, for example, I’ll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye,” he said.

The bartender thought about it. “Okay,” he said.

So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. “Aw, you screwed me,” said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.

“I’ll give you another chance. I’ll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye,” said the stranger.

The bartender thought again and said, “Well, I know you’re not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I’ll take that bet.” So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.

“Aw, you screwed me again!” protested the bartender.

“That’s how I win so much money, bartender. I’ll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars,” said the man.

With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, “Bartender, I’ll give you one last chance. I’ll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whisky bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop.”

The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn’t even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. “Okay, you’re on,” he said.

The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whisky bottle.

The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, “Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!”

The guy climbed down off the bar and said, “That’s okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!”
Check out our awesome collection of Walks Into A Bar Jokes

Liked these gambling jokes? Then share them with everyone you know.

Related Links: 1. Gambling Jokes from Sickipedia.org 2. Gambling Jokes from Jokes4us.com

Funny Slot Machine

Liked this page?

Slot Machine Funny Memes

Then why not get our iOS app from Apple App Store? Then you will have the world's biggest collection of jokes and inspiring quotes right in your pocket, and the app will work faster than the site, so it will save you time and keep you entertained.

Check These Out: